“If you’re in the room, be in the room…”
I’m ALWAYS saying this to clients and customers.
But I know exactly what you’re thinking right now –
“Rob, that’s the most inane thing I’ve heard all day! If I am in the room, then of course I’m already there!”
If it were only that simple!
If you’re not ‘in the room’ you are not in the game. Fact.
I don’t mean physically.
I mean being mentally in the room – exactly where you’re supposed to be.
But it’s a lot harder than just concentrating a wee bit more…
Most of us do not concentrate on the moment and so we never make the most of every opportunity.
Why is this? Because we are only human after all.
We either live permanently in the past or we worry way too much about the future and what could go wrong.
We are literally staggering under the weight of the baggage we carry around with us and nothing is more likely to get in the way of our success.
Someone was telling me earlier that she had actually heard herself talking back to her own self out loud that morning and she’d been shocked at how negative she had sounded.
This is a classic problem.
Most of us do it from time to time.
But we ALL have a permanent internal dialogue inside our heads which controls virtually every action that we take. Or don’t take…
Obviously, our experiences have to shape our lives and as such we are constantly learning as we get older. With age comes wisdom, right?
But, my lesson for you today is this –
There are actually 3 voices battling for control inside your head:
➡ the Commentator, the Coach and the Player.
Your job is to become a successful player which means you have to re-learn how to listen!
Your internal Commentator can only comment on stuff that has happened. Sports commentators can’t talk about a game that hasn’t happened yet. Their voice is always the voice of your past.
“Don’t try that, you might fail and people will laugh at you just like last time!”
Inside our heads, we’re just like big kids, scared of rejection and failure.
The internal Commentator keeps us there, out of the room and right in the middle of our comfort zone.
Then there’s the Coach. They will find a way to steer you through to a way of achieving your goals, never mind what happened last time.
The Coach will take you outside your comfort zone.
The Coach in your head would say “Try that again, you’ve learned since last time and anyways, no-one will laugh at you so go on and do it.”
And so where are you?
Are you in the middle of a situation but not really ‘there’ as a Player?
Are you hiding behind the problems of the past and listening only to your Commentator? The Commentator can NEVER help you move forward.
You have to learn to stop listening to the negativity and instead encourage the Coach inside of you.
The Coach will put you ‘in the room’ whereas the Commentator keeps you standing at the door, safe but unchanged.
Think about where you spend most of your time; past, present or future.
Food for thought, this weekend…
Go out there and give it everything you’ve got! What are you saving yourself for?
And remember the 2 most important things from this post —
- The past is a place of reference not a place of residence
- When you’re in a situation, forget about the future.
The ONLY place you can be is here and now and you have to make the most of every minute of the day!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Your Black Belt Success Coach
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